The Ride of Our Life – Across America in Tandem

WEEK ONE

DAY 1 – Sunday 25th September – New York, New York!

After six months of planning, stress and anxiety the day has finally come for the next insane challenge to begin!

The boys are setting off a day earlier than previously planned due to two of the team having to return to London earlier than expected to start working on two respective projects: Will to start rehearsals on a play called Walk Hard at the Tricycle Theatre, and Tommy to start preparing to play a thirteen-year-old pick-pocket in a new version of Oliver Twist . It's only fair at this stage to point out that Tommy is actually 27 years old!!!

These new limitations put quite a strain on the project, with the boys now having to ride over 3000 miles in 26 days in order to get Tommy to the airport on time. It's going to be tough, but it wouldn't be a challenge if it wasn't!

So to fill you all in, this is the team: Will Norris and James White will be the principal riders of the tandem bike, riding six days a week. Tommy Lawrence and Pepe Balderrama will be the support team and once a week they will give James and Will a day's rest and take over the riding that day.

Having arrived in New York on 22nd September for a few days of fun and bonding, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, a Sunday morning at that, and the boys are up doing the final checks before heading over to the Broadway Theatre, on Broadway, to set out across America to the Hollywood Hills.

The weather's good, not too hot, and with a nice breeze to cool the lads down. Driving through the streets of Manhattan is not as bad as previously envisaged due to the time of day and there not being many people on the roads, although remember this is the city that never sleeps!

Out of Manhattan the roads are busier, but there is a large shoulder on which to ride and the boys hope not to encounter any problems with the traffic. Roadkill is at a minimum and all in all it's a good day for breaking in the new Cannondale bike, which has been affectionately named Josephine, for reasons that are far too blue to publish on the Net!

Meanwhile Tommy and Pepe have set up base camp in a great little campsite down the road, and when the boys arrive, knackered from their first day's ride, there's a bowl of hot energy-building pasta waiting for them.

They're not long to their beds, in the veritable palace of a tent that Pepe has acquired, and the buzzing and creaking noises from the crickets are soon replaced by those of flatulence and snoring!

Day's distance = 92.2 miles


DAY 2 – Monday 26th September – Rain in Delaware

The morning begins with a hot bowl of porridge and the various preparations the boys have to make before riding: showers, check; deodorant, check; a good smearing of Vaseline around the nether regions, check, and with that they're off and Day 2 begins!

It's hotter today and the boys have the second-day blues, with legs aching and the old bottoms giving a bit of jip. But after the first 15 miles the boys find their groove and are tackling the roads at quite a pace. That is until they get to an enormous bridge, where one half of it goes up, the other half down.

They're not sure if they can ride on it, but two of the four lanes are closed and they fancy their chances. They make it up the first half, with dreams of cruising down the other side, when they hear the sirens of a police car… The policeman pulls them over and inform them that they've broken at least 3 State laws - driving on a bridge in a non-motorised vehicle, being a pedestrian on a bridge, and driving in the closed lane. Whoops! However, when they explain what they're doing the policeman is pretty cool about it, and gets a police truck to come and get the bike off the Highway, whilst the boys are escorted off in the trooper's car. A bit of drama never goes amiss on these types of adventures!

The rest of the day goes by without much incident, with the boys clocking up another good distance, and tonight's campsite, whilst giving off the smallest of impressions that they might be raped, is very cosy and the shower facilities are pleasant. The boys just get down to cooking the evening's pasta supper when the heavens open and they're forced to retreat into the tent; lucky it's big enough!

Another early night filled with snoring and wind!

Day's distance = 83 miles

DAY 3 – Tuesday 27th September – The first Hundred-Miler!

After a slightly interrupted sleep due to the rain, the boys are up early and with the internal heating of porridge inside them are off and out the campsite before the locals can have their fun!

Today is a great day. Despite the temperature being in the low 80's, the boys make great time and push for their first 100 miles, which they achieve just as they pull in to the campsite, having gone through three states: Delaware; Maryland and finally Virginia, where tonight's campsite resides.

And what a campsite. Nice facilities, a swimming pool, large camping area, oh, and yes, mosquitoes, and plenty of them!!!

Having finished before three the boys enjoy a game of volleyball in the pool, not at this point realising about the little bloodsuckers. After their little dip it's not long before they're being eaten alive! James and Tommy get the brunt of it, but none of them is without a few lumps come morning time!

Nonetheless, a good day.

Day's distance = 100.07 miles

DAY 4 – Wednesday 28th September – And the animals marched in two by two…

After a hearty breakfast for both the riders and the mossies, it's back on the open road, and despite a slight tired patch around 60 miles the boys do well to handle both the heat and the array of roadkill ranging from deer, to possum, to snakes.

But the real excitement today is the campsite, if indeed it can call itself that!

We're in North Carolina State Park, and whilst there are very good shower facilities this isn't so much a campsite as a wildlife reserve with an area hacked away with a machete where we can lay our tent!

There's a swamp lying about 100 feet away where, the park keeper informs us, there are snakes and crocodiles! In the Park alone there are all manner of sounds and it feels as if we're in a real life version of the Blair Witch Project. There's also that horrible feeling that we're being cast in Deliverance 2. So it's not long before an uninterrupted sleep, and the (relative) safety of the tent. Bring on tomorrow…quickly!!!!

Day's distance = 101 miles

DAY 5 – Thursday 29th September – Hard Work

Today is tough for the riders, real tough. Not having had the best night's sleep to begin with, and the fact that today is the hottest day so far, the boys are up against it and struggle throughout the day.

They have to make it to the campsite, however, and press on regardless, arriving before sunset at a lovely little site, where the boys have prepared a meal of chilli. It rains again, so they're forced to retreat to the tent again, but tiredness kicks in and the sounds of snores soon drown out the crickets!

Day's distance = 93 miles

DAY 6 – Friday 30th September – Speed Racing

After the tough day yesterday, the boys are revitalised, and with the hidden weapon of the chilli from last night, they are on form today, doing 20-mile hours and making it to the destination well ahead of schedule. It's not that much fun for Jimmy on the back who's literally getting the secret weapon in his face, but at least the boys get to have a long rest in the evening.

Because Pepe and Tommy are riding tomorrow to give James and Will a day off, they have a bit of a session at the end of the day to warm them up for tomorrow's big day. Considering they've previously only had about 5 minutes on the bike to practise riding it, they do very well, achieving a nice breaking-in of 16 miles.

The campsite is one of the best yet. We're still getting bitten to buggery by mosquitoes but they seem to be most attracted to Tommy now, so the others are quite happy with that! A little fire to have dinner by, and the boys are in bed by 9 pm on a Friday Night. These boys know how to live!

Day's distance = 100 miles (Will & James) / 16 miles (Tommy & Pepe)

DAY 7 – Saturday 1st October – The B Team

Will and James assume the role of support team today, getting up at 05.30 am to make porridge and coffee for the riders.

They're in fine spirits and manage to leave by 07.00 am, leaving Will and James behind to pack up the tents and do a bit of washing.

The B Team do exceptionally well considering they've done no training and have had little practice on the bike, managing a full 100 miles and doing it in an average speed of 16 miles an hour.

Tonight the boys are staying with some friends in North Carolina, who are giving them a BBQ and a night's sleep without the fear of being eaten or drenched by the early-morning dew.

Their hospitality is enormous, and it's a great night of steaks and wine and dessert and laughs. As Tommy would say, “Good Times!”

Day's distance = 100 miles

WEEK 1 Total = 685.27 miles

WEEK TWO

DAY 8 – Sunday 2nd October – Rested and Relaxed

The boys begin the second week of their adventure waking up at the Taylorsons' in nice, comfy beds, air conditioning cooling their rested limbs, and a huge cooked breakfast to get them off to a flying start.

But the back tyre has gone down in the car overnight, which could either be a strange omen for the week ahead, or could simply be a slow puncture; it all depends on how superstitious you are, really!

Tommy fixes the bike tyre – the punctures have now accumulated to 3 over the first week – and with a slice of cake, and a gift of a few cold Coronas for later, the boys wave goodbye to the luxury of the Taylorsons' and return to the road for more riding and the open air of camping.

As riding days go, it's a good one, clocking up the most miles of the journey so far in one sitting, but it takes slightly longer than normal due to the late start, thus hitting the full heat of the day. Also, by the early evening the terrain changes from the flats that the boys have become used to, into some pretty big hills which take their toll on the lads'
thighs. But when they get to the campsite, any aching pains are soon forgotten.

Pepe and Tommy have pitched the tent on the banks of a huge lake, which is the most picturesque sight they've seen for some time. It's amazing, and as they watch the sun go down with some cold beers and a nice warm fire, the picture-postcard image couldn't be more complete, well, unless someone wrote ‘Wish you were here' over their heads, which let's be honest, isn't going to happen now, is it?! So aside from the lack of any holiday greeting floating in the ether above them, it's a pretty perfect picture.

It's not too bad this riding lark, all in all.

Day's distance = 112.7 miles

DAY 9 – Monday 3rd October – All good things come to an end

The team are up early and the day starts much as it always does out here in the great outdoors, with a bowl of porridge and a cup of tea, followed by a shower, which works partly for cleaning, partly for getting a good warm-up by swatting mosquitoes and crushing cockroaches. Then of course there's the applying of a good coating of Vaseline around the more private areas of one's anatomy, to avoid chafing and any damage that might result in not being able to have children in later life. All the boxes ticked so far...

Will and James get an early start, just as the sun is coming up, and the weather looks as if it's going to be a nice clear and sunny day, whilst Tommy and Pepe break down the camp and get a chance to enjoy a leisurely swim in the lake. So far, so good.

But of course, it's just the calm before the storm!

The hills from yesterday have decided to stay around for an extended holiday, and as they cross the state line into Georgia, the sun decides he's in a bit of a bad mood today, and the heat coming off his rage is intense.

Things worsen when at 22 miles the back tyre blows out, which takes nearly an hour to repair.

Later down the road Pepe and Tommy arrive on the scene to do a spot of filming. They've been nicknamed Tommy Tarantino and Pepe Rodriguez due to their maverick methods of documenting the journey, but today they're taking it to the next level, with Pepe sat on top of the roof of the support vehicle!

Because Tommy can't drive too fast or Peps will become a Mexican variation of roadkill, the line of traffic behind them is ever growing. A couple of phone calls from some irate truckers later and it's not long before two Sheriffs and a State Trooper turn up on the scene. Luckily the old English accent still has some sway here in Georgia, and they get away with just a warning. Thank God they weren't in Mississippi, or their arses might not have survived to tell the tale! Or more to the point, thank God they didn't know Pepe was Mexican. That old LAMDA training came to the fore!

Down the road from the Law, the team meets up for some refreshments. In the course of checking the back tyre, Tommy manages to break the pump, and Pepe pulls the valve off the tyre. It's not going well today, to say the least!

20 miles later down the road and Will and James have further problems with Josephine when the chain falls off her during a gear change and then won't go back on. They discover that the reason for this is because it has twisted, which will require a new chain altogether. Being just on the outskirts of a city called Athens, (hang on a minute, isn't that in Greece? We could be seriously off the route here!) and with them having no signal on their phone to call Pepe and Tommy, they have no other option than to hitch a ride into town. This could end badly!

As it turns out, after a few hopeless attempts they're picked up by a very kind couple, who turn out to be quite the good Samaritans. Having both met when they were down on their luck and homeless on the streets of Athens (I think they mean the one we're going to, not the one in Greece), they now try to help as many people as they can, knowing that if it was not for people having helped them in the past, they'd still be on the streets…of America, not Greece, just so we're clear! They tell the lads about one couple they helped, to whom they gave showers and food and then drove to a train station with whom they are still friends 4 years later! I don't know if the same will happen in this instance, but they do drive the boys three and half miles into the centre of Athens to a bike shop, where the chain is fixed without complication.

Whilst waiting for Tommy and Pepe in a bar in town, Will and James suddenly realize that there are females about, attractive females, and for the first time since leaving New York they're under 60 and have full sets of teeth! It turns out that Pepe and Tommy have had the same realization having been in town getting a new pump for the bike. It's awoken feelings in the team, that staying in a tent with three other men had long since kicked out of them. After a very short discussion it is decided that the boys will stop here for the night, albeit behind schedule, but to enjoy some of the local culture! It means staying in a hotel, but sometimes expenses can be justified!

Too many beers and a lot of flirting later and the night turns into one big blur! Although they do remember meeting Michael Stipe from REM, who's from Athens originally, but that's about all, and if they did remember any more, they wouldn't publish it on the Internet now, would they?!

Day's distance = 82.6 miles

DAY 10 – Tuesday 4th October – At the end of the day, the sun goes down

Due to the late night yesterday, or the early morning, depending on which time zone you're in, added to the couple of shandies the boys drank, getting up this morning proves a little problematic.

Pepe, Will and James manage to drag themselves down to breakfast, but there's no shifting Tommy, who's dead to world, only rising enough to shout some abuse about keeping the curtains drawn.

After some whinging about a sore head, or something rattling around up there, might just be the old cranium, Will and James are on the road quite late today, setting off from that place in Greece at around 10am.

It's another scorcher today, with the hills not letting up, and added to that smallest of hangovers, it's tough going.

Pepe and Tommy, who have enjoyed a lie in which has sorted their heads out a little, set off down the road to tonight's campsite, only to be faced with a Southern campsite owner, reminiscent of a gun-wielding Charlton Heston, who says that it's too late to pitch up tent tonight and that they'll have to come back in the morning. It should be noted that it is actually only the afternoon at this point. Anyway, he doesn't seem to get it that by tomorrow morning a campsite for tonight won't be of much use, and that seeing as the camping area is completely empty, couldn't we just make an exception to the rule just this once, and in the process actually give him some payment for his troubles? It's a resounding ‘NO' from this good ole' boy, “Rules are rules, for a reason, Son!” and the boys have no other option but to stay in another hotel for the night, which is not good news. To add to this the sun starts to set, forcing Will and James to stop riding due to lack of light, once again behind schedule, and without even a proper excuse of there being some hot women about!

The week, having started so well, is all going downhill a bit now, well at least the plans are; riding wise, it's all up hill!

Day's distance = 83.7 miles

Day 11 – Wednesday, 5th October – Sweet Home Alabama

The hotel, being pretty cheap to avoid excess spending, doesn't serve breakfast, well it does, but not one you'd want to put inside you, so the boys take a trip down to the local Waffle House for a breakfast that, although it could never be described as either healthy or nutritious, will certainly provide our cyclists with plenty of energy for the day ahead, considering it could feed a small army!

Bloated and around the size of a house, it's on the road again. The boys cross the Alabama state line soon after start up and the clocks go back an hour which gains them an hour's extra riding, well, whoop de doo!

It's just as well though, really, as the hills are still holding their position fast, and the sun is out in full force, no doubt pissed off about something yet again!

They get their first puncture at around 42 miles, which they then replace with an inner tube that bursts whilst being blown up! Cheap American shite that was probably made in China! They put their other spare on and continue riding down the road, only to get to 62 miles where the tyre blows again! They patch it enough to last the few miles down the road to where Pepe and Tommy are waiting, and Tommy puts on a fresh one so the boys can continue, fingers firmly crossed!

The wheel holds out for the rest of the day, but there's a new situation to contend with now, of the four-legged variety. Out here in Alabama no one seems to put their dog on a leash and because the houses don't have fencing in the gardens, today is a day of being chased by enormous dogs, two of which get so close the boys can actually smell the mutts' breath, they think it's liver and chicken, but Pedigree Chum it is not! Added to the punctures, the heat and the hills, today is pretty shitty….Sweet Home, my arse!

That said, the lads manage their best day's mileage of the trip, and at least it's a nice campsite to rest in for the night, where Tommy and Pepe have prepared a nice meal and a big log fire.

But the long day has taken its toll, and the riders are not long to their beds, leaving Peps and Tommy to enjoy the fire alone, hopefully romantically!

Day's distance = 117.53 miles

DAY 12 – Thursday 6th October – Rainy Day Blues

The team wakes at the normal time of 05.30 to find it's raining cats and dogs on the tent. In terms of making breakfast, luckily there's a shelter to cook under, but the rain isn't stopping and could cause all kinds of problems out there on the road.

Which of course it does as little as 100 yards in, where Will and James are literally wetter than an otter's pocket! They're so wet in fact that their feet feel as if they're in puddles of water. This is not a good sign.

As the rain worsens, the computer on the bike fails to work, the brakes start failing, and the boys are finding it hard to see the road in front of them.

The boys arrives in a place called Selma where they go to a local laundry mart and do their own unique version of the famous Levi ads of the 80's, stripping off to get their clothes dried. It probably wouldn't help sell any jeans, but at least their clothes are dry.

However, despite the break, the rain has not stopped and the boys are feeling very cold and run-down by now. It's decided by the team that they'll lick their wounds for today and check into a motel to have a hot bath and proper night's rest to avoid anyone getting ill.

Without question the worst day so far on this insane adventure.

Day's distance = 55.2 miles

DAY 13 – Friday 7th October – Cold and Windy

The rain seems to be holding off this morning but there's a multitude of clouds in the sky. It's cold though, and despite a hearty breakfast of porridge and tea, the temperature doesn't seem to rising.

The boys get out on the road early, but every time they stop they have to throw a jacket on to keep warm, as their body temperature seems to drop enormously and, worse still, quickly.

As someone once said, it's just one of those days.

Luckily they're saved any morale-destroying punctures, but as the day progresses the temperature plummets and spirits are dropping.

At around 80 miles though, Pepe and Tommy are waiting for the lads, with their own unique roadside café set up, serving hot soup and drinks. If this acting lark doesn't work out for them, there's another profession just waiting in the wings!

The hot refreshment has given the intrepid adventurers enough energy to keep going to 100 miles, where Peps and Tommy will take over to the campsite, to give their legs a little warm-up for their day's riding tomorrow.

Will and James see the boys safely off on their way and head off down the road to the campsite where, because of the time of day, they have to set the tent up in the dark. Which wouldn't normally be that bad, but this campsite, though very nice, has concrete slabs for the tents so there's no way to put any pegs in the ground. These crazy Yanks! Somehow, and don't ask how, they manage to get the tent up and have dinner on the go by the time the B Team arrives. They have chili tonight, due to James not having to worry about Will's turbo diesel engine blowing up, quite literally, in his face!

It's an early night all round for the team, who due to the rain the other day have to lie in wet sleeping bags. Will this week ever end?!!!!

Day's distance – Will & James = 101.38 miles / Pepe & Tommy = 30.89 miles

DAY 14 – Saturday 8th October – Thank God it's the weekend!

James and Will are up early making breakfast for the boys, but either because the weather from yesterday is continuing through to today, or because of the wet sleeping bags the lads had to endure through last night's sleep, it feels exceptionally cold this morning. James lights a fire to try to heat everyone up.

Pepe and Tommy are riding today, but neither has had a good night's sleep, and the fire does nothing to warm them up. Nonetheless they're off and away by 7am, leaving James and Will to break down camp and enjoy a quick swim in the campsite's lake.

The temperature rises up soon enough and the B Team enjoy a good first half to the day, clocking up 64 miles by lunchtime. Mississippi, like Alabama, has dog issues too, and the boys are chased on several occasions. During one the dog gets within nipping distance of Pepe's ankle! But apart from the smell of tripe on its breath the B Team are saved any rabies, and on their way without any harm.

But the afternoon brings with it yet more problems to add to the ever growing list this week, and the lads have their first blow out, due to the grids in the hard shoulder of the highway which are designed to wake drivers up who have fallen asleep at the wheel. A great invention for road safety, but not for the wheels of a tandem bike!

Peps and Tommy replace the inner tube of the tyre but the road is not suitable for driving on, being an interstate at midday where large trucks like to drive at the leisurely speed of 90! So Will and James pick them up to take them onto another road, which means driving over the Mississippi River, which is quite a sight to behold.

Dropping Peps and Tommy off just after the river, now in the state of Louisiana, just to make sure the lads don't have any further complication, Will and James stay in the area. And it's lucky they do really, as four miles after being dropped off Pepe and Tommy get their second puncture of the day. A quick change of inner tubes, then almost like clockwork, four miles later the tyre goes again! Sitting on the roadside, waiting for the boys, Will and James notice a pick-up truck go past, with two weary short guys in the back holding up a bike that looks remarkably similar to Josephine.

Surely there's not another team mad enough to ride a tandem bike across America?

Of course there's not, it's Pepe and Tommy, who because of no signal on their phone, have had no choice other than to hitch a lift to the nearest gas station. Busted!! Their chauffeur is a kindly gentleman named John Maclean, not the character from Die Hard, but a character nonetheless, who in return for some beers has given the boys a lift. The team only have wine to give to Bruce Willis's alter ego, and old John don't drink wine, in fact, we don't think he actually knows what wine is. So James gives him $5, which he says will help him get there, (there obviously being inebriated), but a little more wouldn't hurt! Of course it wouldn't, you money-grabbing bastard! $15 out of pocket the boys leave John, salivating at the prospect of his soon to be acquired cold beers!

Will and James drive the boys to a stretch of road that looks safe, but in the brief trip in the car the new inner tube has gone down. This is not good news and with the sun setting the team decides that the best course of action is to find a nearby campsite and start afresh in the morning.

Despite the campsite being a good one, once again on the banks of a very picturesque lake, spirits are low at the end of this second week, as the team are yet further behind schedule. Their hopes of being able to make it to Dallas for Sunday's Football game are all but dead, the next 11 days are going to be hell, and the sight of yet another bowl of pasta does nothing to cheer them up!

Yes, it's a challenge, but does it have to be so f****** hard?!

Day's distance = 78.95 miles (Pepe & Tommy)

WEEK 2 TOTAL = 662.95 miles

WEEK THREE

DAY 15 – Sunday 9th October – The A, B, C's

The third week of the adventure begins, and after all the trials and tribulations of Week Two, Team Couch Potato wake with a positive attitude and a firm desire to make up the mileage lost from the debacles of last week. They don't really have much choice in the matter, but it's nice to know they're on board with it!

It starts with the boys freezing their proverbial tits off, staring out towards the campsite's lake, noshing down their porridge with a now well-practised ease. Despite the cold, though, the sun looks as if it's going to make a strong performance today, and Will and James will soon heat up once they give Josephine a good hard riding!

Today's route means driving the first few miles down Interstate 20. The boys have had a mixed relationship with the Interstates of America so far on their trip, with some being like a loving wife, giving them plenty of room to do their own thing, but offering a protective shelter against the cruel world of truckers and speed-freaks. Some, on the other hand, have been like a scorned mistress, popping their tyres at every possible opportunity and generally scaring the sh*t out of them!

This morning's Interstate begins as the sort of mistress that you end up having a prolonged affair with over many years. She's quiet, so no one can interfere with what you're doing, she's calm and rational and offers a nice smooth ride; what more could you ask for from a mistress? But like all illicit affairs, (remember it's actually illegal to ride on the interstates here) it comes to an end with painful results…

At around three and a half miles, Will and James attempt to change from the hard shoulder into the slow lane of the interstate in order to get across a junction. As they make the switch, the front wheel hits a bank in the road and Josephine almost falls straight over on her side, in the process throwing both James and Will off their seats. James falls on to the back pannier bag, having to stretch like Mr. Elastic to keep hold of his handlebars, and Will is thrown forward and has to hold his entire weight up by gripping for dear life on to the front handlebars.

Neither of the lads can get their feet on the pedals, and Will, who by now is doing a very convincing impersonation of Superman whilst flying, can't release his grip to get hold of the brakes or they've both had it. Rocking like a toy horse back and forth, their only hope is for Jimmy to put his feet onto the highway surface to slow the boys down, which he does not without its own unique brand of pain, stopping the boys in the gap between the Interstate and the slip road, and gets the bike back onto the hard shoulder. But in the process of all this excitement, Will has gashed his leg quite severely and bruised the bone, leaving him in significant pain and having great difficulty walking, meaning James has to go back across the road to help him to safety.

Boy, were they close!

If there had been a car, or worse still a truck, on the highway, the boys would have been road kill, and as they sit by the side of the hard shoulder waiting for the support team to come and rescue them, this realization dawns on them and their legs start a'trembling!

With Will and James blubbering like a couple of teenage girls by the side of the road, Pepe and Tommy arrive on the scene to take the boys back to the campsite for a nerve- calming cup of tea, oh, aren't they British, and a bag of ice for Will's leg. There's no way that Will can ride today, so Tommy T suits up and Team C is created. They leave Pepe to break down the tent whilst Will resembles a hobbling geriatric, and get going.

Team C prove a success to begin with, cracking the back of 50 miles in good time, but as the day goes on, the difference in height between Tommy and Will, meaning that the front seat is lower than usual, forcing James to lean further forward than usual, added to the different riding styles, is causing James' back some serious jip.

At 80 miles Team C's short but sweet relationship comes to a premature end as James is forced to retire early, and Pepe has to relieve James of command on the captain's seat of Josephine.

And so, from Team A to Team C, we now have Team B riding out the rest of the day, whilst Will and James go ahead to tonight's campsite to set up base, and rest their respective injuries.

Feeling rather useless, Will makes a lovely dinner of Spaghetti Bolognaise and it's as nice a campsite as any to stay for the night.

So, the lesson of the day is always have back-up. As Will is so fond of saying, “Always remember the Five P's: Preparation prevents piss poor performance!”, and despite the early set-back the A, B, C's of Couch Potato came to the rescue in fine form.

There's no “I” in team, but there is a mate, and we all need a little help from ours at times!

Day's distance = 120.22 miles
Will & James (3.82 miles); James & Tommy (75.18 miles;)Tommy & Pepe (41.22 miles)

DAY 16 – Monday 10th October – On the Road Again

The rest and recuperation, added to a touch of frustration from the spiraling-over of the trauma of last week, and the near-death experience of yesterday, has left the team raring to go and to continue the good mileage of yesterday, but hopefully doing it without putting anyone in harm's way!

The sun is slow to rise today, but Will's leg has healed, albeit heavily bruised, and he can put weight on it, and, boy, that's some weight! Obviously because of the increased muscle he has built up since riding…that is what was meant by that comment, nothing more!

The boys don't get off to the best start with James forgetting his gloves, and it's bitterly cold on his wee knuckles. But after the brief hiatus, the A Team is off!

Soon after starting, the boys cross the State line into Texas, and the difference in wealth between here and the last three states is immediately apparent. The houses are bigger, there are golf courses and the cars are the size of Double Deckers! That's the buses, you realise, not the chocolate bar, just in case there was anyone in doubt.

The sun's come out to play and the weird sun tan that's starting to make Will and James look reminiscent of patchwork quilts, is getting a thoroughly good top-up.

The boys put in what can only be described as a Herculean effort, just crossing the 125-mile point on the outskirts of Dallas. They're knackered but the sense of achievement is undeniable.

This, coupled with the fact that the company has just got the news that they have been confirmed the Arcola Theatre for their production of Our Boys, which will be the first of their season of plays next year, means a celebration is in order. So the boys go to the finest steakhouse in Dallas, as recommended by everyone they've met, from the people on the streets to City Search on the web. Y.O. Steakhouse it is! And what a place it is too!

The boys all opt for a surf and turf mixture of 9 ounces of lobster tail and 9 ounces of buffalo with a Jacket Potato on the side the size of Delaware just to make sure they're not hungry later! By the end, they're all finding it hard to walk, but little Jimmy White still finds enough room for a little chocolate fudge cake. Where does he put it all?!

Any plans of going for a wild night out with some hot Texan beauties are firmly put to bed, sadly alone, as the boys stagger back to base-camp, finally giving a non-ironic reason for the name of the company!

Day's distance = 125.84 miles

DAY 17 – Tuesday 11th October – What goes in, must come out!

The intention of this diary is to give a thorough description of the events that occur out here for all you urban dwellers back home in England. So to be truly detailed in this tale one has to be honest, and so the following has not been altered to protect anyone's dignity, but, as the Sun Newspaper would say, “tells it like it is!”

And so, as a result of last night's surf and turf feast, the boys are running a little late today due to having the buffalo sweats, and there being quite a queue for the lavatory this morning.

Once out on the road, the boys have to drive out of the veritable spaghetti junction of Interstates in and around Dallas to a road they can actually ride down, and in the short trip there the buffalos, or possibly the lobsters, are tapping on the door to be let free yet again!

Further delays later the boys are on the road and to begin with they're making good time, leaving Pepe and Tommy to go ahead and set up camp for the night in a place called Albany in West Texas.

As the afternoon wears on, however, the beef tips come a-calling, forcing Will to pull over in a state park and run to the spider-infested toilet before the runs get him! The rest of the day continues in the same vein, with the boys, or more specifically Will, having to pull over every 10 miles to make another deposit at the porcelain bank.

James is managing to save his funds though, but his face is getting more and more purple as the day goes on, and it ain't at the hands of the sun!

At the end of the day though, the sun goes down, and only God and Geoff Capes can stop it; we mere mortals can do nothing but pull up a pew and watch the beauty. So with all the distractions of the day, the boys have been delayed more than expected, and making the campsite is proving difficult. The plan was to get to the outskirts of Albany and turn up the 283, at around 97 miles, but as the sun is reaching a non-ride-able low, and the bike's computer reads 104.23, the lads start to fear they may have gone too far. There's no reception on the phone, so they have no choice but to hitch a lift back down the road.

After a short wait they are picked up by a very kind couple called Randy and Bunny (we think that's right, sorry if not) who say it's not a problem to give them a lift all the way to the campsite as by now the sun has gone down fully.

In the short drive there the boys have a fantastic conversation about everything from politics, to the history of Texas, to the Mexican occupation of the State. We offer to give them some cash for the lift, but they refuse, saying that as long as we show them around next time they're in England, the lift's on them. It's a deal.

James, however, who has been turning ever-more purple, excuses himself without actually saying goodbye to the kindly couple as he's in need of a quick dash to the lavatory, bless his cottons.

Randy and Bunny wish the boys well on their journey and drive off into the night, leaving the boys to another delicious meal of pasta and the warmth of a fire that Pepe has built that looks like it would not be out of place in a Tim Burton movie, due to its gothic architecture.

The rest of the evening is spent listening to the howls of coyotes as the boys lie in bed, hoping that their tummy troubles are well and truly behind them!

Day's distance = 104.23 miles

DAY 18 – Wednesday 18th October – Wet Tents and Caravans

The team wake to a bitingly cold morning, and the dew has made a home for itself in and around the tent and all the stuff inside it, which basically means everything but the car! There's also a strange mist hanging in the air as Will and James set off in the early morning sunlight, leaving Pepe and Tommy behind to deal with the wet.

It takes them all morning, rotating the tent and sleeping bags etc so that they have maximum exposure to the sun in order for the equipment to dry out; luckily for them it's a hot day and the sun's in one of his tempers again. Tommy sees his first snake, it's only a little one, but it's enough to make Pepe feel ill at ease and the sooner they get out of there the better. Up till now Tommy had never seen Pepe work so hard, but a few girlfriends have seen him move that quickly in the past!

In the meantime Will and James have had a race with a train. How? you may well ask. Well, public transport in this country is a little behind the times compared to Britain, in fact so far behind it's not even in the same decade! Never again will the boys complain about a minor delay on the GNER network, since they were riding at just over 19 miles an hour and firmly whipping the train's hide. That said, the driver's game for a laugh and when he waves to the lads, James does the international honk-the-horn sign and the driver duly pulls the horn of the train. Good fun had by all!

Pepe and Tommy finally manage to dry off the tenting equipment and meet the boys down the road at 100 miles, where because of having to make up miles from last week, they take over with two fresh pairs of legs to get as many miles as possible done by sunset.

Will and James go down the road to the campsite where they discover that it's actually cheaper to hire a mini caravan than it is to pitch up tent; what a country! A bit of luxury never hurt anyone, and the A-Team have base camp set up, with a nice fire lit, by the time Pepe and Tommy turn up just before sun-down. They've put in a strong performance, chalking up 45.12 miles, but Pepe is suffering from a sore coccyx. How, no one really knows, due to the fact that your coccyx doesn't have any pressure put on it whilst riding a bike. So either he's sitting on the bike funny, or he's just strange. Place your bets here, but my money's on the latter.

A quick swim in the indoor pool, and yet another meal of carbohydrates later and the boys idle away the evening in front of the fire supping a few cold ones, telling tales of the open road…cos of course they don't get enough of it during the day!

Day's distance = 100.09 miles (Will & James) / 45.12 miles (Pepe & Tommy)

DAY 19 – Thursday 13th October – Cards, Burgers and Front Page News

Thank the Lord, as they say here in the South, that the team chose to sleep in the caravan last night, as they wake to the aftermath of Typhoon Kirogi. The heavens have opened and God is answering knee-mail only! The boys make breakfast and wait for a journalist from the local paper, The Big Spring Herald, to come and do an early morning interview.

He arrives and the outside is starting to resemble a small pond. Nonetheless, he seems very interested in what they're doing and later that afternoon the boys make the front page!

They know this because they are stuck for the day in Big Spring due to the weather pushing in the direction they're riding and it's decided that it is a far better idea to stay here and stay dry, than drive ahead to a campsite where it'll still be raining and get everything wet.

The little caravan starts to leak later that morning, so the extremely kind campsite owners let the lads have one of the cabins for the same price of the little caravan, so after a quick move the boys find themselves warm and dry in the safety of a palatial wooden hut.

It is here where the Rummy Cub card game competition officially begins, with James taking an early lead, which is challenged over the course of the day by Will and Tommy, but Pepe holds his position firm in last place, with a score that gets bigger with each hand. The aim of the game is to keep as low a score as possible! He's got the worst luck ever, and by the end of the day his score is so bad that he'll have to win every hand between now and Hollywood to stand even the faintest of chances of being crowned champion.

Other news from the day is that in fine Couch Potato tradition, that of the Americans, not of the company, the boys have two meals both consisting of burgers! They're good burgers, but is there any need for such indulgence? Of course not, but like I said, they're good burgers and you only live once, although the length of that has just been significantly lessened by such extravagance.

They're behind schedule again though, so there's going to have to be some big days riding ahead. Lord, will this ever end!

Day's distance = 0 miles (Bugger!)

DAY 20 – Friday 14th October – Hard Core Pedalling!

The skies have cleared and the rain has gone, and there's not a minute to waste, as the time left gets ever shorter, if Team Couch Potato are going to get to Hollywood by the 20th in order to get young Tommy home in preparation for his role as a teenage pickpocket. And whilst they have a week's cushion in case they don't make it in time, they want to finish this together as it has been such a team effort and Tommy, like the rest of the boys, should get to celebrate the achievement. But it's going to be tough, of that there is no doubt!

And so with the sun now high enough to ride they're off! 200 meters down the road, and the front chain comes loose! Will manages to get it back on, but the pedals are no longer aligned correctly. Getting the front chain on is easy, taking it off is another matter and after several attempts the boys give up and call in reinforcements. In this case Tommy, who is the bike expert on this trip, which in short means he knows just a little more than nothing!

He gives it his best shot, but to no joy, so Pepe tries ringing a guy called Mel who is the person who actually put the bike together. If anyone knows, he will, and luckily he's at home and talks Tommy through it. An hour behind, and the pedals are facing the right way again. And they're off…again.

Ten miles up the road, and the turning for the 176 is nowhere to be seen. A quick check at a local petrol station and it turns out the boys have gone 8 miles too far up the wrong way. Another hour behind schedule going back to the turning, and the day has not started well.

But this is religious country after all, and the Lord is on their side, giving them flat roads as far as the eye can see, allowing them to make an average of 18.9 miles an hour over the day and getting 100 miles done by 4 o'clock where the B-Team are to take over and get some fresh legs on the job of making up the lost distance.

Before meeting Pepe and Tommy, though, Will and James see five snakes slithering on the hard shoulder where they ride. They don't cause any harm and hardly notice the presence of a big tandem bike going past, but it's a sign for the roads ahead, now the boys are entering the snake country of New Mexico and Arizona. Out of interest, one of the snakes won't be causing anyone any problems, as it turns out, due to Will running it over having seen it too late! A crime against nature, but justice to the world of fashion, as snakeskin boots are quite the thing to wear out here!

The B-Team take over and put in their fastest performance of the tour so far, clocking up nearly 50 miles with an average speed of 19.05 miles per hour. Strong work. They manage to get to Carlsbad just as the sun sets and the boys work as a team to get the tent set up as quickly as possible in the dark, once again proving that old adage of there's no I in Team, but there is a mate.

Pasta for dinner again, oh what joy!!!

Day's distance = 102.43 miles (Will & James) / 46.19 miles (Pepe & Tommy)

DAY 21 – Saturday 15th October – Snakes and Mountains

Pepe and Tommy are riding the main chunk today, it being Will and James' day off, but in light of having to make up distance lost along the way so far, Will and James will do the evening stretch.

It's an early rise as the lads have gained an hour's sunlight at the beginning of the day due to the changing of time zones yesterday when they crossed the border into New Mexico, and also because they have another interview with the local paper in Carlsbad.

Due to this interview, the boys get their showers in early, but because of their late arrival at the campsite they never registered with the owners and as a result don't know the code to the toilets. Pepe notices that the door to the Ladies toilet is ajar, and reckoning on no one being in there at such an early hour of the morning, he chances it and gets his shower in there. He's lucky, and the place is empty, but by the time he's finished the place is swarming with young girls and he has to make the quickest of exits before any phone calls to the police are made! He seems to have got away with it, though, but the party of girls have a little chuckle as they walk past during the lads' interview, which sends Pepe's face into a deep crimson! He obviously made an impression.

7.30 arrives, the interview's over, Pepe's stopped his stalking ways, and Team B set off into the sunrise… like what I did there?

The roads are predominately flat, despite being in the Guatalopian mountain range, so the boys make good time in the early hours of the morning. At around 10 am they hit a patch of rain, but luckily Will and James are nearby to put the bike and the riders in the car to stay dry until the rain passes, which it does within the hour.

But it's still an hour wasted and the clock is ticking! So back on the road, the boys head out on a mission and despite the awe-inspiring landscape, which should really have been relished with a spot of sightseeing, and despite the roads being littered with snakes of various shapes and sizes, the boys plough on like Sam Wise and Frodo trying to get to Mordor. That reference by the way alludes more to the B-Team's height than to us being fans of the Lord of the Rings…they're both like little Hobbits!

The rain manages to hold off for the rest of the day and, knackered with sore posterior issues and that old aching coccyx of Pepe's, the boys manage to get 110 miles in before Will and James take over for the evening's push to El Paso. The landscape is the most picturesque so far; with mountains and desert all around them, and throughout the day the sky is a beautiful mix of sun and rain clouds, sending rainbows in every direction.

The sun's nearly set, but the boys just manage to get there in time. They're making those miles up slowly but surely! They might never eat pasta again after this trip, but by God is it doing the trick!

Day's distance = 110.41 miles (Pepe & Tommy) / 50.02 miles (Will & James)

WEEK 3 TOTAL = 809.36 miles

WEEK FOUR

DAY 22 – Sunday 16 October - The Wilderness of Arizona

It's the beginning of the end, as they say, and the clock's ticking!

After the technical problems of Week Two, and the weather issues of last week, there's almost 900 miles to cover and there's not even a whole week to do it in. To get Tommy, the cockney pickpocket wannabe, to LA in time to fly home to Britain, Team Couch Potato have to get to the Hollywood sign by Thursday evening, and that's going to be some challenge indeed. But CPP are nothing if not fans of a good challenge!

It's the morning after the night before, and it's been an interesting night to say the very least! As usual the lads got an early night yesterday, 8.30pm, they're all starting to resemble a group of old men, for goodness sake, and the team have probably the worst night's sleep of the trip so far. At 10 pm their collective bladders, which seem to working in unison these days, have an alarm call, and they all have to get up from the relative warmth of their tent into the chill of the open air.

Then, having got back to sleep eventually, they're woken again at 01.30 by their neighbours. By neighbours they mean the rows and rows of streets that are literally opposite their campsite, as this particular one doesn't really accommodate tents very well. The neighbours are a rowdy bunch, and an argument rages between two of them, culminating with the final words “God will save you” from one of the participants, to which the angrier of the two retorts, “I don't give a shit, get out my house motherf*****!”. Pleasant stuff!

This added to the loud music blaring from every house and the sounds of cars zooming past the tent is enough to put the lads ill at ease, and the rest of the night's sleep is not good.

To finally top it all off, Will's blow-up mattress goes down in the night and at 3 o'clock he manages to wake the others by pumping it back up. This campsite is called Whispering Palms, and let me tell you there's nothing whatsoever whispering about the place!!

As always, the week does not start well…

So, at 06.30, unrested and bunged up yet again by their traditional dosage of morning porridge, Will and James set off over the state line of Texas and into the wild landscapes of Arizona. What a place it is. It's mountainous and everywhere is covered in cacti and it provides the most amazing views of the trip so far. Thankfully it's quite an overcast day, so that whilst it's still warm, it's not the piercing heat they had previously been warned about. The roads are still littered with all manner of beasts, however, and throughout the day the boys see dozens of snakes, coyotes, dead armadillos, and in one instance a flock of vultures feeding off a dead dog. Nice!

The morning begins with a steady incline of around 50 miles, where just before the end of it, the boys pull into a picnic area to meet Tommy and Pepe. They're knackered, and continuing for the day feels like an impossibility. Their legs are sore, their backs ache, and after the night from hell yesterday, there's not feeling much love today!

But the day is about to get much better…

The 50-mile incline comes to an end, followed by a steady downward slope of 50 miles, and it is as sweet as it gets! The views, added to the downhill cycling, creates some of the most enjoyable riding of the trip so far, and one particular stretch of quite steep downhill lasts for nearly 7 miles. There's no pedalling required to reach a smooth ride of 36 miles per hour! It's simply the best day's riding of the challenge, and 110 miles is reached in record time, an average speed over the day of 19.43 miles an hour, the highest top speed so far, and it's like an Arizonian episode of Record Breakers!!

At 2.30pm, which is nearly an hour and a half ahead of schedule, the B-Team take over for the evening shift. Pepe and Tommy do equally well chalking up good mileage, in as good a time, whilst Will and James go ahead to set up camp. There's only one campsite for miles, so any choice on the matter is taken out the equation, but to begin with it looks like a good one. It's cheap, which is always welcome, there's a nice pool and the amenities are excellent, and what with having finished early, James and Will are looking forward to enjoying the afternoon relaxing in the pool.

But as with so much on this trip nothing ever seems to go to plan…

The area where you can put up tents, whilst having plenty of room, is concrete and in the space of time it takes the boys to take the camping equipment out of the support vehicle, a storm is brewing and the winds are kicking up. With the pegs not being able to go in the ground and the winds being too strong for the tent to stay up unsupported without them, James and Will abandon any hopes of a relaxing afternoon, and pack the car up in search of alternative accommodation, which basically comes in the form of the only Motel for nearly 50 miles. That said, however, it's not a bad one, and with the skies getting ready to open, it's probably the best decision all round.

They let Pepe and Tommy know what's happening and, to save on petrol, they double back on themselves to get to the motel. But where the wind has been behind them for most of the day, heading back into it is not much fun and the B-Team are struggling to even get into double figures in miles per hour! At around 6pm the sun is going down, and with Pepe and Tommy not having made it back to the motel, the boys are starting to worry that something might have happened. So James drives back down the road to find the windswept B-Team fighting the elements, and with the rain coming, it's not a moment too soon.

But it's been a great day, for the most part, and the team while away the evening with a cheeky pizza and a movie in the Hotel la Siesta.

Good times, good times!

Day's distance – 110.02 miles (Will & James) / 53.47 miles (Pepe & Tommy)

DAY 23 – Monday 17th October – The Mexican Way

The alarm goes off – out of interest it trills the theme tune to Ghostbusters, which has, over the course of this trip, started to wear a little thin, and the boys wake, well rested this morning in the warmth of the motel room. Pepe gets up to start preparing the morning's porridge and the boys start getting ready for the day ahead.

It's only after about 30 minutes when the boys realize that Pepe has set the alarm an hour early and that it's only 5 o'clock. The idiot! They could have had another hour in bed! Although it does mean they'll be able to start riding as soon as the sun comes up, and after they've given Pepe a good kicking, the boys get on their way.

The wind from yesterday seems to have calmed down, but the clouds are still threatening and in the distance there's lightning flickering all over the place. Tommy has gone ahead to do some filming of the boys against the magnificent backdrop of the Arizona landscapes and it's lucky he has, as at 17 miles the heavens open. Just as the boys pull in to get some shelter from the rain under the only tree for miles, Tommy pulls over and picks them up. They get Josephine in the back, and the boys stay warm, waiting for the rain to pass. But after an hour of lightning, thunder and the arrival of the apocalypse, the lads decide the best course of action is to drive back up the road to the Motel and start again from there as the rain seems to be heading in the direction they're going, as opposed to going back the way they came.

Déjà vue kicks in for Will and James as they set off again from where they first began, whilst Pepe and Tommy get the car packed up in order to be nearby if the rain catches them again. They get a little further down the road this time, but the rain's making an encore, and this time the clouds low and the lightning and thunder is all around them. After a brief discussion it's decided that the best plan is to drive ahead of the weather and make the distance up somewhere down the road. It's a gamble, but with not being able to ride in the wet, there's no other real choice, and so Josephine is packed away, and the boys head in the direction of fairer conditions.

Further down the road the rain seems to be holding steady and so the boys get Josephine out of the car and start pedalling. Considering the earlier delays the boys make good time, reaching Yuma in Arizona by the afternoon in time to hook up with some reporters from the local paper and a news team from the local NBC channel, where later in the day Team Couch Potato makes the 5 o'clock News!

From Yuma the boys ride to Pepe Dad's, Jose Balderrama, in San Luis, which is just south of Yuma on the Mexican border for an evening celebrating Jose's birthday and the arrival of the boys in town.

The hospitality is exceptional all round, with Pepe's family making the team feel right at home and throwing beer and tequila down their necks at the rate of knots. There's enough food to feed an army and despite the language barrier everyone gets on like a house on fire. Tommy teaches the Mexican contingent to say “Good times, good times”, which when asked what it means, Pepe tells them, “It can be used in many situations, like after you've had sex”. Good old Peps! You can just see it now, hundreds of Mexicans doing the mattress mambo and rolling over with a smooth Marlboro in their mouths saying (in a Mexican accent) “Good times, good times!”. There's nothing like international relations…Classic!

Will and James have an early night, well an early one for normal people, around 11pm, but by their standards it's a late one, leaving Pepe and Tommy to stay up dancing and drinking the night away, and in Tommy's case getting a lapdance off one of the party goers…Good times, good times indeed!

Day's distance – 123.61 miles

DAY 24 – Tuesday 18th October – Hangovers and Hills

Will and James manage to drag themselves out of bed at around 6am, feeling a little delicate after the festivities of last night, but a quick shower always makes one feel a little fresher. Because the sleepy twins Pepe and Tommy will probably be feeling exceptionally more worse for wear than the others, Will and James decide to ride around San Luis to make up some of the miles driven yesterday, so that when the drunks finally awake, they can all get moving down the road together.

It's a hot one today, and the food from last night is trying to make another performance. A quick stop at a gas station later, and the boys are back riding again, at a leisurely pace, so as to work off yesterday's hangover.

They get back to Pepe's Dad's house at around a quarter to ten, to find Pepe and Tommy having a leisurely morning chilling out and eating breakfast, the lucky buggers! But this is a Mexican meal after all and there's plenty to go around! After a struggle to pack up the car, what with being weighed down by all the eggs, beans and meat, the boys head off towards San Diego and the shores of California.

Despite the heat, it's another powerhouse performance by team CPP, with Will and James making good time in the early stages of the day. But at around 70 miles the boys hit the mountain ranges of Southern California and a 4125-foot climb into the heavens is about as much fun and as painful as slamming your testicles in a drawer, repeatedly, for a week! The boys are so high into the skies by the end of it, that they're in the clouds and as a result are as wet as a whale's private parts. It's also exceptionally cold so high up, and at the peak, Will and James hand over to Pepe and Tommy, resentful of not being able to ride down the beast of a hill, but thankful to be in the car, warm and dry.

Due to this downward hill the B-team make exceptional time and Team Couch Potato are in San Diego early enough to enjoy the late afternoon chilling out in the campsite's pool. But they're knackered after the day's riding, and added to the Mexican hangover all it takes is a bowl of pasta and the boys head to bed.

Day's distance – 115.21 miles (Will & James) / 60.02 miles (Pepe & Tommy)

DAY 25 – Wednesday 18th October – The Penultimate Day

From where the boys are in San Diego it's 127 miles to the Hollywood sign, but with having driven through the rain on Monday, they have to make some miles up. But they only have one day to do it in, and that's today. It's been decided that the best way to do it will be to rotate teams every 25 miles, thus taking away the time wasted during the day taken up with breaks.

It's a beautiful day with the sun shining brightly, a nice sea breeze to cool them down. The team decides the best course of action is to ride 12.5 miles along the beach front, and then 12.5 miles back to the campsite so that the team that aren't riding get a chance to rest at home, as it were.

And that's really how the day goes. The beaches here are great, there's so much money in San Diego that you can practically smell it, but in terms of any incident worthy of note there's not much to report.

Well, maybe that's not strictly true…

After a successful day of chalking up the lost miles and getting the team back on schedule, and with tonight being one of only two nights left, they decide to hold off their 80-year-old urges and go for a few drinks this evening.

On the trip thus far, nights out have been limited, and in the two evenings when they actually went out into a city centre, they suppressed the desire to go to a Hooters bar. What's a Hooters bar, I hear you ask. Well, let me explain. America is a country where cities are often made up of 4 houses, a church, a Chevrolet garage, and, you guessed it, a Hooters bar, and if there isn't one in the city, there's one nearby.

They're a pretty tacky place to be fair, and certainly not a place for feminists, but having been starved of much female attention for the last 3 weeks, the advantage of the place is that the waitresses all wear tiny little orange pants, which leave little to the imagination, tight crop tops, again, ditto on the imagination front, and white sports socks, which for any child of the 80's is a real turn on. In fact you don't even have to be a child of the 80's, you just have to be a heterosexual man with a libido!

Our waitress is called Jenny, and she's a hottie! There's no point of beating around the bush, she's fit! Fit and flirty. It's part of the makeup of the joint, the waitress are meant to make the guys feel like they could go home with them so that they spend more money in the place, much like a strip joint in that way. But nonetheless the method is working and it's not long before the boys are flirting back. In the process of ordering a couple of pitchers of beer and a couple of plates of buffalo wings, the lads have found the hot spots to go in San Diego and have invited Jenny to come and join them later on. She accepts the invite, but then we've all been there before, then ended up waiting all night sat alone at a bar looking like you've just been slapped round the face with a wet fish. Well, at least Will has anyway! A couple of beers become a few more, and soon the night is one big blur of incredibly attractive women and a barrelful of plastic breasts to ogle at. The surgeons here are earning their money, that's for sure!

But in a plastic-breasted populated city, plastic people are what you find, and what the lads find are aggressive people with very little manners. That said, young Jenny keeps up her end of the deal and makes it out to join the boys. She brings her flat mate with her, a nice chap named Brian, and at the end of the night, slash early morning, Jenny and Brian join the boys at their campsite for a night cap, or seven.

All in all, an interesting evening, but the amount of alcohol consumed could come back to haunt our intrepid riders during the big push tomorrow. Only time will tell…

Day's distance – 125 miles (Will & James) / 125 miles (Pepe & Tommy)

DAY 26 – Thursday 20th October – THE END!!!

After 25 days of riding, around 426 mosquito bites and four very sore bottoms later, the day has come when the boys will reach their final destination of the Hollywood Sign in the hills of California. It's not been without its ups and downs, quite literally in Georgia, and there were times when they didn't think they'd make it, what with punctures and weather constantly putting them behind schedule, but after a week of some big performances, they've got themselves back on track, and all it requires now is one big push to the finish line.

But that may prove harder than they'd have wanted…

The sun's up enough to let the boys know it's going to be a beautiful day, but despite the fact they have all managed to get up, the heads are sore and the bodies weak from the excesses of last night. Never drink and drive, and that goes for a tandem bike as well.

The sun has come up in full, and the heat is causing the boys some serious dehydration issues. Which at around 10 miles forces the boys to pull over so that Will can be sick. Not even 10 miles after that James has a similar episode, and both riders are regretting going to Hooters, well regretting it slightly; after all they were good tight orange pants!

They travel up the coastal road, which is predominantly flat, but does have some hills here and there. Whilst the road takes them through some pretty amazing scenery, including Newport Beach which doubles as the set for the American TV show the O.C, it's hard to enjoy it, what with feeling so weary and all.

As they enter the city limits of Los Angeles, it's like entering a film set. The streets are populated with all manner of weirdos, and the ever-polluted air from so many Interstates that go through and around the city gives the sky a sort of translucent look, which is doing nothing for the lads' hangovers.

The heat and distance is getting to the boys so much so that they're contemplating pulling over, but when the Hollywood sign is sighted on the horizon their second wind kicks in and the boys are pushing a great average speed, finally. That is until they reach the bottom of the hill they have to ride up to get to the sign.

It's a bitch, steeper than anything they've ridden so far, and something that would not be out of place in the Lake District! It takes longer to ride up the 2.3 miles to the sign than it takes to ride 20 miles on a normal day. It's hellish and is without a doubt the hardest bit of riding of the whole trip. But the pay-off is worth it!

The boys are met at the top by a photographer from the Evening Standard and after getting the official publicity out of the way, the champagne comes out and the boys are celebrating their achievements in style. It's quite a breathtaking moment, and last night's hangover seems to evaporate in the euphoria of the moment.

They did it, many thought they'd fail, hell, there were times when even they thought they'd fail, but as they sit watching the sun go down over the city of angels, all the pain and frustration was worth it. Now let's celebrate!!!

And the boys don't disappoint. Due to having friends living out in LA, the boys get to go to a Hollywood party at Chateau Marmont, the hotel where John Belushi famously passed away, and party the night away with all manner of celebrities. It's the stuff of legends and whilst Couch Potato Productions are obviously far too professional to be name dropping, we will let you lads out there know that the Olsen Twins were there and, yes, they're as good in the flesh as they are in print!

And so, the adventure comes to an end. Broadway to Hollywood in 26 days is one hell of an achievement. THANK YOU to all the people who have supported this Challenge, and we look forward to seeing you all at the productions next year, which without your generosity would never have been possible.

Thanks again from all the team at CPP! x

Day's distance – 127.02 miles

TOTAL DISTANCE RIDDEN FROM BROADWAY TO HOLLYWOOD = 2996.93 miles